God is Good :)

Independence Day:

My Saturday started out well enough, went to work. It was very slow in the social work office… Saturdays tend to be. It was nice, though, to get some time to relax and rest. A kitten found its way into our office from outside. Raphael decided to give it the leftover avocado… that cat ate faster than anything I’ve ever seen. It was weird, though, watching a kitten eat. Something about its scrawniness hit me. I think the animals only escalate the poverty situation in Mathare. Seeing sickly cows, chickens eating trash, goats with deformations, starving cats, and practically dead dogs adds to the scenery of garbage, shanties, sewage and infested water, hungry children playing in the mud, most of them shoeless and with torn clothing… all of these things overwhelm the senses as you inhale the polluted air and smell the waste. Despite all of this, though, I have found more joy in one child here than in entire churches and communities back home. The gratefulness on their faces as they play within Pangani’s walls astounds me every day, or the children at Madoya running around, or at Joska playing football. Anyway, it seems funny that one cat makes me feel so deeply, but some of the sights and smells from Mathare are burned into my mind, and because I can be so introspective, my “deep” emotions are practically worn on my sleeve.

We left the office and went home to rest a bit before the barbeque. I slept for a good two hours before heading to the guys’ house. It was quite calm until the Kenyans showed up, then the party got going. I swear, watching Shadrack (from education), or Paul (BDS) jump on the trampoline was fantastic! By far, the best part was Julius though. He couldn’t do it, and I think he was actually afraid to try to be honest. Eric got the burgers going, and we had pasta salad, potato salad, brownies, chocolate chip cookies (a delicacy here as chocolate chips are non-existent!) and ice cream! Doug bought a fire work (with nine-teen parts) which we launched at Roselin school. It was awesome to share a bit of our culture with the Kenyans. I really enjoyed it, though I missed home more than I thought I would.

Sunday:

AWESOME. We had a really good debrief. For the first time, I felt like the ridiculous length was meaningful! It may have been 2.5-3 hours, but our team really made headway in desiring to be unified, in bringing up issues, and in coming together to share in our experiences a bit more deeply than before. I am amazed that even here, I catch myself feeling alone at times (or perhaps, especially here). But, after last night, God gave me a renewed sense of joy with my community. I felt at peace around them all for the first time, and I can tell that things will only get better these next few weeks. Looking around the room, I had the sense of “these really are my brothers and sisters in Christ, why haven’t I been able to see it?” So that was cool. Also, in the midst of my loneliness, I felt God said in that moment “Brianna, why do you think I can be the God of Mathare, loving and caring for them, and not your God as well? I am not simply everyone else’s God, but yours.” It was a good reminder of God’s love for me, despite how small, insignificant, and sinful I may be, He loves and cares for me, for all of us. It was truly amazing.

Monday, July 6^th

Today is another calm day in the office doing data entry, but a very good one at that. As I am still sick, I am enjoying the chance to sit and rest inside. This morning, as I listened to worship music on our drive in the Matatu, “Sister” by Storyside B came on, and the line “Close your eyes, realize, you are exactly where you’re supposed to be, can’t you see” stuck in my head. It took on a new meaning here. Now, it is able to confirm, in a very simple way, that I am supposed to be here. Sitting in the middle of the Matatu, with most of my team surrounding me, I realized just how right it is that I am here. God called me to Kenya to see Him in the faces of these people, and I do. He called me here to grow me cross-culturally, and I am. He called me out of my comfort zone, which He did, but also to show me that He is my comforter, and I know that He is. He brought me to a relational, unhurried culture to grow in those spiritual disciplines, and I love them! He is growing me and changing me. He is growing my spiritual gifts in so many awesome ways, some I have seen, some I will not see until I am back in the States. Bottom line, God is faithful! The last song that played on my ipod was “All for you” by Phil Wickham. I was reminded that all that I do, even here, is for Christ. I am not here to work or to make friends… I am here to grow closer to my Savior, and in doing so, those other things will take care of themselves, for when I get closer to Christ, I can do nothing but serve, learn, and love.

Will write more soon!!! God bless!